one, two,

ten, twenty kisses
your knee, my knee, twenty one
my knee, your knee, twenty two
your hand, the back of my neck, twenty six
twenty eight, thirty, thirty one
my cheek, slowly against your cheek, thirty two
and you smile, thirty three kisses
caress ribs, tingling spine
thirty nine, thirty nine, thirty nine
forty six, and my skin is humming
fifty seven, slowly, looking at your eyelashes
fifty eight, the corner of your eye is is a castle
your breath is my kingdom
fifty nine, sixty, sixty one
seventy six kisses sailing where skin meets skin
ninety one kisses
in between
smiling

Give me your arm

under my cheek

above my heart

below waves of shimmering heat

and memories

summer popsicles

screaming babies

broken cars

dusty feet

ruined lists of things to do,
checked off or forgotten

beside a round dish of wishes and water

left like an offering

for the past, behind us,
hungry, lingering, leaving

and the cat, soft and curious,
demanding breakfast

I will give you my cheek

soft against a hard place where you were
alone

and pretending that you
weren’t waiting

for me

Holding you

here
now
around you, beside you
always
never
too far or too close
wanting
urgently
yielding to impulse
like tectonic plates bumping unseen
changing the shape
of my island

I have a lump, I said, not sure if

the world is ending
or if this is a brave new wave

He was kind and encouraging, which I appreciated, but
no kindness quite hits the spot
like fear can

Bravery can
Bravery can

I tried to face the tiger
faced the tiger
had Wise Thoughts
blanched, because
none of this makes sense the way hips and hands make sense

I want the unlikely grace of sturdy hips driven to joining tender places
madly
briefly and forever
as permanent as butterfly wings
and just as endearing

I want to watch every little twitch and tingle
every waterfall of sensation
and emotion
wafting
through
across his eyes

He might not be able to do that with me
now

He watches me for bravery, for panic, and
I want release flying in the face of reason!
I want to jump off of this cliff, christening the earth, rejoicing in tears
before jumping off that cliff

The better it is, the scarier it gets.
There! I believed that until just now.

Now, now is the quiet jungle place
before careful professionals
and levelheaded reason.

I am waiting.